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Mommy…Tell Me Why

January 29, 2012

my destiny, it don’t come free, i run to the sea, hoping i find me, the sky is dry but not my eye, breathless sigh, again i cry not knowing why, i question each question and answer each question with another, should i have listened to my mother, should i ask her why my eyes aren’t dry, why i see when my eyes are shut, why i became a hedonistic slut, why my head down here is high, why i so often sigh, maybe i’ve been hypnotized, maybe these aren’t my eyes, did i believe a lie, can you give me seventy seven times seven tries, i won’t lie behind a lie, no comfort to be found there, don’t you see me clear, am i not right here, am i your fear, o mother…i’m not dilapidated, just want to be disassociated from shallow, finding emptiness hard to swallow, i’m not looking to be justified, just let me be dignified, i’m not blind, only looking for what i can’t find, i may be lost, couldn’t save me with his cross,but  i’m not wrong, only want to be strong, i want both of me on the ground, this circle keeps racing round and round, in different directions, looking for corrections, can’t take this rejection, i hear a sound of silence so loud making my ears pound, i hear what you don’t say and the miracle for which you pray, don’t you see today what you couldn’t find in me yesterday, should i go to the river, would you carry me on your back, think? i’ll find there what i lack, a tigerlily or love that’s not silly, can i move on, write more than just another sad song, please mommy…tell me i’m not wrong, tell me i’m not blind, tell me i won’t truly go to hell, even if i don’t walk like the bible tells, please tell me…you’ll see ME, through this sea of me.

peace be

Day 21

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